Dear Roger

Dear Roger,

Thank you for being my friend through the years. Your goofy, fun personality made our childhood interesting. I know we got in several spats, but we would surely go to the grave for each other. I know I would for you.

I pray life gives you all your dreams. You are so talented. At times I am a bit jealous, but then I remember how much I love you. Your talent is now even clear to the world via your eloquent reviews on A Daily Dose of R&R. 

Keep up all the hard work! I know you will go far. Thank you for being such an awesome brother.

30 Before 30: Thirty & Guest Post

Here we are again at the end of a month and an end to a theme! Its almost sad as they end, yet full of excitement for the new month. I feel like number 30 on my list should be something amazing. I feel like a let down since I can't make it that amazing. The goal listed below is also on my life list but its a big and costly one!

30. Buy a house.

source

The reason for this is obvious. I have kids, too much junk, and no place of our own. It is one of those "needed" things for adults with families.

However, better than my goal is five goals from my guest blogger today. I am glad to welcome back Roger from A Daily Dose of R&R. I trust you will enjoy his goals and perspective as much as I did!

Here he is...

Hello! It’s Roger again, you might recognize my name from a post a while back about long distance relationships. As for a quick update, things are still well on that front. Still miserable, and still well worth it. But that’s not the point of my being here today. Amanda asked me to stop by and talk about the five things that I would like to do before I turn 30. Well, I’m 24 now, so I like to think that time is on my side…  But it’s also moving much faster than it once did, so many of the things on this list are already in the works to get done. So, whether you wanted it or not, here’s a chance for you to learn a bit more about me.

1. I’d like to get a book published. 

Who hasn’t fantasized about writing a book at least once their life? I can’t speak for everyone, but as an avid reader, having my name on a book was definitely something I knew I wanted to do before thirty. And, I am quite pleased to say that this goal is very close to becoming a reality, only not in the sense you might think. Starting earlier this year, my girlfriend and I collectively began working on editing an anthology to raise money for a non-profit organization called First Book and fulfill our dream of attaching our names to a published work. That book, Neverland’s Library, is scheduled to release in March of next year. In fact, I’ve been so successful in achieving this goal, that I now have plans to release not one, but four different books. 

http://neverlandslibrary.com

I’ve not given up on publishing a book entirely written by me, but editing is definitely a unique way of achieving this goal. I can certainly live with my name being attached to a book with fantasy genre authors that I read and love.

 
2.       I’d like to move from having a job to having a career.

Sometimes the early twenties can feel a lot like being that lanky kid from school who hit their growth spurt before everyone else. Your arms are hairy, you’ve got that terrible eighties whisp-stache and you’re about a foot taller than everyone else in your class.   Okay, I lied. I’ve almost always been about average and on the lighter side of hairy, but I understand not quite fitting in. I’m ready to move past working an hourly job and begin working toward a career. While I know some people are able to jump straight from college into these types of opportunities, the large majority of us experience some growing pains in this aspect of life.

Adult bills tend to catch up on us a lot faster than our adult paychecks. I’d better get a real career soon before I’ve got a wife, kid and mortgage. I’m ready for that monotonous day-in and day-out penance to hurry up and begin so it can end before I’m too old and decrepit. 

3.    I’d like to visit Europe.

If money was a moot point, I would see the world and get lost in it. My bushy beard would hide my carefree smile as I travelled from country to country while honing my terrible American accented version of whatever native tongue I try to speak. I’d stay in hostels, take a million photos that will never make it onto my facebook and just get exposed to the vast world that I’ve only seen in pictures!

The twenties are meant for exploring. Our youth should be fun! Before I turn thirty I want to create some memories that I can embellish on and impress and inspire my one-day kids.

 
4. I want to go to the Olympics.

Rather than mentioning Europe and the Olympics, I should just ask to be rich, shouldn’t I? Yes, a great many goals come with being rich, but that’s life we live in. It’s a shame that the lovers of sports and common men and women who fill the streets and fields to play these games can’t afford to go watch them live when they grow up. While I would love to do this, it’s not something I expect to do before thirty. That’s okay though, not all goals are attained. Sometimes it’s just fun to dream big.

Instead, I’ll settle for a close-knit group of friends gathered around the TV and stuffing our faces with a less than athletic assortment of *Ahem* dietary foods. 

5.   I want to learn to be happy with what life gives me.

Now don’t take this to mean that I don’t have dreams and ambitions, but I know that there will be things that I will want and desire, but I know that’s not always possible. So rather than waste all five of goals for before I turn thirty on selfish desires, I’d like to step back and work on being appreciative for the things I do have. I’m a selfish, idiotic, mid-twenties fool who wants it all, but I have a feeling if I actually got everything that my black little heart wants, I’d just find myself wanting a new set of unattainable goals.

If I ever end up getting it all, I think I’d like to make a few other people’s goals come true instead of just mine. Sometimes making something possible for another can be more enjoyable than doing so for personal gain.

So there you have it! My five things I’d like to achieve before I turn thirty. They’ll probably partially change before the day ends, but that’s okay. I’m young, or young at heart at least, and I’ve got time to make a few more mistakes before old age comes back to bite me.

Thanks,

Roger Bellini

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder [?]

As I promised, we have a guest post today. As I mentioned, Andrew and I spent the two years of our engagement in a long distance relationship. At times I forget how hard, lonesome, and crazy it was. So, here to help me today is my little brother. Roger Bellini is the author of the Si-Fi review blog, A Daily Dose of R&R and the coeditor for Neverland's Library.

Hey everyone,

My sister was kind enough to invite me to do a guest post about long distance relationships as I am currently involved in one. Her choice of titles, “Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder,” was an interesting choice but it’s a bit misleading. I’ll not claim to be an expert on the topic, but what I can do is give you my brutally honest opinion on the experience. If you’re involved in a similar type relationship I hope some of these feelings resonate with you; if not, well I’m wonderfully weird!

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First things first! There are some common misconceptions about being involved with long distance relationships. I’ll list a couple and tackle them one by one while sharing how my lovely girlfriend, Rebecca, and I have dealt with them.

Long distance relationships are not real.

Within the first day of having met, we quickly progressed from twitter to Facebook (This is not a way to start a relationship).  After Facebook, we went to skype and Facebook (This is also not a way to start a relationship). After that we spent several months conversing over webcam for hours on end nearly every night just spilling out interests, making faces at each other. We became friends as we learned about one another. It became evidently clear that there was a spark. We struggled with the first time voicing our feelings for each other as LDR’s (long distance relationships) often come with a negative connotation, but we knew at that time that there we didn’t want to be with anyone else. So, I eventually bit the bullet and asked her out. Awkward cheesiness ensued and I am pleased to say that the person I enjoy spending time with most decided to say “Yes.” To have a successful LDR, you need more than physical attraction; you need a partner who is also your closest friend (This is how a relationship is started).

If someone tells me that they cannot agree with that, then they might want to question their relationships before questioning mine! 

You can’t love someone you’re never with

I can bet you that I probably spend more time seeing my girlfriend and talking with her than a large majority of successful traditional relationships. I know, I know…  “But that’s not the same!” You’re right, it’s not. I’d love for the chance to spend time in person rather than be separated by what feels like infinite distance. In fact, I’ve planned several such trips already. It’s important to see someone occasionally in person. For some people this time lapse may be longer than others, but physical contact is needed. We’re only human, and kisses are definitely better given in person.

Having a successful LDR is a lot like a military couple. You come to cherish the time you do have with the person you care about, and make a conscious effort to make it work when they’re not nearby. It’s not for everyone, but if you find a person that is worth the effort and you have the determination, then you take your shot.

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It’s important to communicate when in a LDR. Be prepared for unwarranted jealousy randomly creeping up on you. Get used to cuddling your pillow instead of a person at night. It’s not easy, it’s not fun. It’s not worth it to be involved with these relationships. They can be awful and miserable.

The absolute only reason you should be involved in this type of relationship is if THEY ARE WORTH IT!

I’ll vent, I’ll rage, I’ll stay up until the early hours in the morning, heck I’ll even pay to fly and visit…  Because, in my case, she is well worth this and more!

Thanks,

Roger Bellini 

I can sympathize with so many points he made. Are you in or have you ever been in a LDR? What did you find to be the hardest challenge? I must admit that it was one of the only things that kept Andrew and I "behaved" before our wedding day! Still, I often wish we had more time together over those two years. Its a bittersweet deal. I hope you have enjoyed this look into love and romance with my husband and I (as well as our guest blogger, Roger).

Looking Forward

Later this evening I will be posting a catch up post as well as introducing next month's theme (properly). I am looking forward to sharing so many things with you.

The Whirlwind: Moving, Marriage, and Munchkin

Andrew and I's first year of marriage was one crazy event. We were married in January and the year whirlwinded around us. Before we were even married six months I found out I was pregnant. My son, Benjamin was born in December of our first year of marriage. We had to move out of our tiny apartment before his birth.. so that made it marriage, munchkin and moving all within one short year.

What was the craziest year of your marriage like? What is your favorite and least favorite memories of that year?

Its amazing what a year like that can do to bring you together. I know we grew so much in that one year. Although we have only been married three years now, we have the knowledge of life that comes from many more.

We now have two handsome boys in our life. Its a great blessing and a tiring struggle at times. I find myself at times wishing for the days prec-hildren. Yet, I know that I wouldn't do it any other way. For the missed sleep, missed date, and craziness... it was still worth it.

Marriage is a rough road. Its not for the week and willing to give up type. You must be strong. You must commit. You will fight, cry, struggle, and other times you will smile, grow, and make love. Its a balance and a gift. Its burden and a blessing. I wont lie and say we have it right or that we are always happy. However, I love is true and chosen. We wont give up on this thing called marriage, we are in it for life.

Tomorrow we will be hearing from my little brother, the author behind A Daily Dose of R&R about love and life in a long distance relationship. So please stop by. Also, check out his latest project: Neverland's Library Anthology

Out of his own mouth, "It's a fantasy anthology I started to raise money to go towards providing textbooks for children in need. We partnered with First Book, because they've been doing just that for years. Also, we assembled authors from several major publishers: Orbit, McMillan, Nightshade and more."

There is only a few hours left in his campaign, so check it out!

The Longest 2 Years of My Life

Long engagements are great for planning weddings and building a good relationship foundations, but its not an easy task for everyone! Immediately after saying yes to Andrew, I went back to school for two years (excluding spring and summer break). Long distance relationships are very challenging, but not impossible. We spoke daily (thank goodness for mobile to mobile), we movie chatted online, and we did a lot of day dreaming. I had an abundance of time to plan the wedding and make it a little friendlier on our wallets. I was able to spread out purchases and do a lot of research before making my final decisions. In the short breaks I had during those two years, I returned home. During those times we spend almost every waking moment together. We would stay out until the wee hours in the morning because we couldn't bare the idea of having to say "good night" and "goodbye". During those two years we covered most of the important conversations- children, arguments, dreams and desires, etc. I can't say we got it all right, but we did talk a whole lot! Of course when we were together we struggled with the desires that come from such emotional closeness. We struggled with keeping our own boundaries. Still, we made it to our wedding day with all the excitement that comes with it and knowing that we would never again have to say "good night" and "good bye".

Long distance relationships are one of those things. Some people say they are worth it, others say its not. In my case I would say it changed my life. This leads me to some very exciting news! Next week we will be having a guest blogger speaking on long distance relationships. They have some exciting news to share, an interesting point of view and hopefully some good tips on keeping that romance alive. Even more fun, we are getting all this from a man's point of view! Roger from A Daily Dose of R & R will be joining us! Please make my brother feel welcome. Before he posts I would love to have my readers provide some questions for the men who have been helping this month. My husband Andrew and my brother Roger would be glad to share their thoughts on any topic related to love and relationships. Please comment below or use my contact information to get a hold of me.

What You've Missed

I've been a busy beaver the past few days. I apologize for the lack of posts. However, I did write an introduction page, so please go check it out. I also have two stylish outfits to share with you as well!

My Outfits

It feels like I went so long without clothes from Gwynnie Bee! I finally received a new box this week, so I wasted no time in wearing them. I had to do a little adapting because I got the sizing wrong on one dress, but over all, I think I looked pretty put together!

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

 Tuesday

I am wearing the eloquii exposed zip stretch dress which I got from Gwynnie Bee. Had I ordered this in the correct size I may have styled it differently, but I like the look I created. The Kimono shrug came from Torrid.com. I think I've said before its one of my favorite pieces!

Wednesday

I wore another Gwynnie Bee delight on Wednesday. The Igigi Jodi top was a wrap style blouse. I had a bit of a time getting it to tie correctly, but after I did the it looked lovely. I like the colors and the gorgeous flower print. I made it work friendly with a lace trim camisole. I wore Lane Bryant dress capri pant and my flats to make it look a little less formal.

Thursday

Thursday was my call to summer! I pulled one of my summer dresses out and paired it with a corduroy blazer from Lane Bryant to make it work appropriate. I couldn't help but wear my sandals with it though! The necklace I wore was one of those great craft fair finds again. I rarely have a chance to wear it because of its very detailed style. I think it worked today with the fun mix and match look I had.

Looking Forward

I am going on a camping trip with my family and my mother. We have been camping every year about this time for a long time. It is one of my mother's favorite things to do for Mother's day. For this reason, you may not hear much from me until Sunday evening. I am looking forward to a weekend without too much technology and plenty of family time! Next week we will have a lot of fun stuff going on. We should be finishing up the telling of Andrew and I's "love story" so far. We might also get to some other interesting topics such as a few marriage and relationship book reviews, and a look at SEX.... so stay tuned.