Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder [?]

As I promised, we have a guest post today. As I mentioned, Andrew and I spent the two years of our engagement in a long distance relationship. At times I forget how hard, lonesome, and crazy it was. So, here to help me today is my little brother. Roger Bellini is the author of the Si-Fi review blog, A Daily Dose of R&R and the coeditor for Neverland's Library.

Hey everyone,

My sister was kind enough to invite me to do a guest post about long distance relationships as I am currently involved in one. Her choice of titles, “Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder,” was an interesting choice but it’s a bit misleading. I’ll not claim to be an expert on the topic, but what I can do is give you my brutally honest opinion on the experience. If you’re involved in a similar type relationship I hope some of these feelings resonate with you; if not, well I’m wonderfully weird!

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First things first! There are some common misconceptions about being involved with long distance relationships. I’ll list a couple and tackle them one by one while sharing how my lovely girlfriend, Rebecca, and I have dealt with them.

Long distance relationships are not real.

Within the first day of having met, we quickly progressed from twitter to Facebook (This is not a way to start a relationship).  After Facebook, we went to skype and Facebook (This is also not a way to start a relationship). After that we spent several months conversing over webcam for hours on end nearly every night just spilling out interests, making faces at each other. We became friends as we learned about one another. It became evidently clear that there was a spark. We struggled with the first time voicing our feelings for each other as LDR’s (long distance relationships) often come with a negative connotation, but we knew at that time that there we didn’t want to be with anyone else. So, I eventually bit the bullet and asked her out. Awkward cheesiness ensued and I am pleased to say that the person I enjoy spending time with most decided to say “Yes.” To have a successful LDR, you need more than physical attraction; you need a partner who is also your closest friend (This is how a relationship is started).

If someone tells me that they cannot agree with that, then they might want to question their relationships before questioning mine! 

You can’t love someone you’re never with

I can bet you that I probably spend more time seeing my girlfriend and talking with her than a large majority of successful traditional relationships. I know, I know…  “But that’s not the same!” You’re right, it’s not. I’d love for the chance to spend time in person rather than be separated by what feels like infinite distance. In fact, I’ve planned several such trips already. It’s important to see someone occasionally in person. For some people this time lapse may be longer than others, but physical contact is needed. We’re only human, and kisses are definitely better given in person.

Having a successful LDR is a lot like a military couple. You come to cherish the time you do have with the person you care about, and make a conscious effort to make it work when they’re not nearby. It’s not for everyone, but if you find a person that is worth the effort and you have the determination, then you take your shot.

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It’s important to communicate when in a LDR. Be prepared for unwarranted jealousy randomly creeping up on you. Get used to cuddling your pillow instead of a person at night. It’s not easy, it’s not fun. It’s not worth it to be involved with these relationships. They can be awful and miserable.

The absolute only reason you should be involved in this type of relationship is if THEY ARE WORTH IT!

I’ll vent, I’ll rage, I’ll stay up until the early hours in the morning, heck I’ll even pay to fly and visit…  Because, in my case, she is well worth this and more!

Thanks,

Roger Bellini 

I can sympathize with so many points he made. Are you in or have you ever been in a LDR? What did you find to be the hardest challenge? I must admit that it was one of the only things that kept Andrew and I "behaved" before our wedding day! Still, I often wish we had more time together over those two years. Its a bittersweet deal. I hope you have enjoyed this look into love and romance with my husband and I (as well as our guest blogger, Roger).

Looking Forward

Later this evening I will be posting a catch up post as well as introducing next month's theme (properly). I am looking forward to sharing so many things with you.

The Longest 2 Years of My Life

Long engagements are great for planning weddings and building a good relationship foundations, but its not an easy task for everyone! Immediately after saying yes to Andrew, I went back to school for two years (excluding spring and summer break). Long distance relationships are very challenging, but not impossible. We spoke daily (thank goodness for mobile to mobile), we movie chatted online, and we did a lot of day dreaming. I had an abundance of time to plan the wedding and make it a little friendlier on our wallets. I was able to spread out purchases and do a lot of research before making my final decisions. In the short breaks I had during those two years, I returned home. During those times we spend almost every waking moment together. We would stay out until the wee hours in the morning because we couldn't bare the idea of having to say "good night" and "goodbye". During those two years we covered most of the important conversations- children, arguments, dreams and desires, etc. I can't say we got it all right, but we did talk a whole lot! Of course when we were together we struggled with the desires that come from such emotional closeness. We struggled with keeping our own boundaries. Still, we made it to our wedding day with all the excitement that comes with it and knowing that we would never again have to say "good night" and "good bye".

Long distance relationships are one of those things. Some people say they are worth it, others say its not. In my case I would say it changed my life. This leads me to some very exciting news! Next week we will be having a guest blogger speaking on long distance relationships. They have some exciting news to share, an interesting point of view and hopefully some good tips on keeping that romance alive. Even more fun, we are getting all this from a man's point of view! Roger from A Daily Dose of R & R will be joining us! Please make my brother feel welcome. Before he posts I would love to have my readers provide some questions for the men who have been helping this month. My husband Andrew and my brother Roger would be glad to share their thoughts on any topic related to love and relationships. Please comment below or use my contact information to get a hold of me.

What You've Missed

I've been a busy beaver the past few days. I apologize for the lack of posts. However, I did write an introduction page, so please go check it out. I also have two stylish outfits to share with you as well!

My Outfits

It feels like I went so long without clothes from Gwynnie Bee! I finally received a new box this week, so I wasted no time in wearing them. I had to do a little adapting because I got the sizing wrong on one dress, but over all, I think I looked pretty put together!

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

 Tuesday

I am wearing the eloquii exposed zip stretch dress which I got from Gwynnie Bee. Had I ordered this in the correct size I may have styled it differently, but I like the look I created. The Kimono shrug came from Torrid.com. I think I've said before its one of my favorite pieces!

Wednesday

I wore another Gwynnie Bee delight on Wednesday. The Igigi Jodi top was a wrap style blouse. I had a bit of a time getting it to tie correctly, but after I did the it looked lovely. I like the colors and the gorgeous flower print. I made it work friendly with a lace trim camisole. I wore Lane Bryant dress capri pant and my flats to make it look a little less formal.

Thursday

Thursday was my call to summer! I pulled one of my summer dresses out and paired it with a corduroy blazer from Lane Bryant to make it work appropriate. I couldn't help but wear my sandals with it though! The necklace I wore was one of those great craft fair finds again. I rarely have a chance to wear it because of its very detailed style. I think it worked today with the fun mix and match look I had.

Looking Forward

I am going on a camping trip with my family and my mother. We have been camping every year about this time for a long time. It is one of my mother's favorite things to do for Mother's day. For this reason, you may not hear much from me until Sunday evening. I am looking forward to a weekend without too much technology and plenty of family time! Next week we will have a lot of fun stuff going on. We should be finishing up the telling of Andrew and I's "love story" so far. We might also get to some other interesting topics such as a few marriage and relationship book reviews, and a look at SEX.... so stay tuned.