Discouraged

I wont lie, I am so discouraged by my current medical state. I am getting no answers from doctors. I have no answers for myself. I know something is wrong but no one seems to know how to fix it. I am on the verge of a breakdown. I can feel it coming.

I have been on a strict diet for over six weeks now. I have not cheated. I have been faithful. I have worked out and done everything that is right. However, with no help seen in my future, I lack the encouragement I need to continue.

I say all this to say, what do you do when you feel like giving up? How do you deal with things when nothing goes right? Sometimes we just wont get answers for the questions we ask, but it doesn't make it any easier. How do you cope with the not knowing or not having an explanation for things that should be there?

I have always been blessed with child-like faith. For this reason I have always been able to turn to God in difficult times. Recently I have even struggled to give it over to him. I do not know what season of life I am in, but I struggle.

Honestly, everyone struggles. Some of us struggle in different areas or at different times. It would be a great blessing to me to hear from a few people from all parts of the journey. Are you struggling with me? Have you been through and have advice for a weary traveler?

Rachel Joy Scott

April is the month I choose to focus on ladies from both the past and present that have or currently inspire me in someway. I am purposefully choosing to only speak on those aspects of each woman.

Rachel Joy Scott

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 I can still remember the days after this event. The first child to lose her life in the Columbine High School shootings in 1999, Rachel has been an inspiration to many since. Her moral character and refusal to turn on her beliefs were honorable and courageous.Her life is also the inspiration for Rachel's Challenge a " a nationwide school outreach program for the prevention of teen violence, based on her life and writings." [source] Her writings ranged from journals to prayers and everything in between. In fact, her writings have been compared to another amazing woman I noted, Anne Frank.  She was also "posthumously awarded the 2001 National Kindness Award for Student of the Year by the Acts of Kindness Association". [source]

I have always found martyrs to be inspiring, but her story is especially close to my heart. Being a young teen at the time with a similar story, it was like loosing a friend. Her precious life and its swift ending came as a reminder that there is no promise of tomorrow. We should live like today may be my last.

Michelle Duggar

April is the month I choose to focus on ladies from both the past and present that have or currently inspire me in someway. I am purposefully choosing to only speak on those aspects of each woman.

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 Are you kidding me? How does she do it?! By the end of the day with my two young boys I think I may die. The nights my husband and I have to get up with my youngest drain us completely.

This woman manages to care, love, and flourish with her big, beautiful family. Beyond that, she home-schools. If you know my history I was homeschooled/unschooled through half of middle-school and all of high-school. It takes an incredible about of effort to get work together, grade, and provide enriching experiences. Now times that by a lot, say 19. She has got my respect for sure.

Another aspect in which I respect her is her faith. Considering both the hard and wonderful times, her and her family still cling to their faith in Christ. They make sure that everyone is aware of how important that is to every corner of their life.

All of her children seem to be well rounded and happy. This, again, amazes me. Her relationship with her husband is real and honest. No matter what others think, they must be doing something right! Relationships say a lot about people.

Among her other lists of respectable, inspiring traits you have confidence, modesty, and plenty of patience. I say, "Amen Sister!"

Mary, The Mother of Jesus

April is the month I choose to focus on ladies from both the past and present that have or currently inspire me in someway. I am purposefully choosing to only speak on those aspects of each woman.

Mary, The Mother of Jesus

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I won't lie, I'm a little bit intimated by Mary. I've thought about it so many times and I just can't make myself believe that I could have, would ever, or have ever been anywhere closer to her point of perfection.

I can only imagine God's selection process for that job!

There had to be an amazing amount of strength, purity, and straight out faith in her life. There is nothing I can come up with that would be quite as nerve racking and scary as revealing an unplanned and unexplainable pregnancy in a time where that meant death. I can't imagine the strength it took to continue to live each day and know you are being thought of as all kinds of "un-pure" things.I can't imagine the strength it takes to raise a child you know is GOD! Going along with all this is faith. Having the faith in the knowledge of the gift she was given and future ahead, is mind blowing. When most people struggle to hold onto a "mustard seed" of faith, she surely had mountains of it.

The purity of Mary's heart is probably the most notable reason for her selection as Jesus' mother. I can't manage to make it an hour before I've lost my temper, thought grumpy thoughts, or did something I know just wasn't up to par. Although there is no perfect person, there must have been something pretty amazing about her.

Anne Frank

April is the month I choose to focus on ladies from both the past and present that have or currently inspire me in someway. I am purposefully choosing to only speak on those aspects of each woman.

Anne Frank

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Young as she was, will always be remembered for her courage and perseverance. She spent two years hiding and during this time she expressed herself through writing. I've always been a firm believer in using writing as a coping, strengthening, and therapeutic tool. In fact, that is the exact reason I began this blog.

I was also young when I started writing. Unlike Anne Frank however, I had nowhere near the hardships she faced. She kept an amazing amount of positivity amongst the most horrible circumstances.

It is a very sad to consider how her life was taken long before her time. I sometimes think about the amazing things she would have done. She would have surely helped change the world. Yet, in death she still touches lives daily.

If you would like to learn more about Anne Frank, you can read her dairy or check out this website I found.

Find it Here

Crying baby; Tuna sandwich

  
 I thought the name of this post was very appropriate for the occasion. If you haven't already guessed, I am eating a tuna sandwich and listening to my son express his dislike for being put down for nap. A random title seemed the best option since I had so much to discuss.

    Considering this is my very first post, I want to cover some of the things I want to explore during the life of this blog. When I first pondered the idea of blogging, it was a distant dream, a hopeful after thought. When I finally got serious, a whole plethora of ideas flowed into my cerebellum. Below I will list some of the questions I wish to answer and a few of the titles that may appear in future posts.

• What am I supposed to do?
• Who am I, really?
• What makes a good mom, not just a good mother?
• What did I learn from my childhood?
• What did I miss? (My childhood and teen years)
• Facing my past, what did I learn?
• The future, what does it hold?
• Love, Life, and Happily Ever After
• Why I like shuffle. 
• Who says I cant do everything?
• Blessings in the mail
• Miracles happen
• The No Good, Very Bad Day
• Plus size and beautiful, dealing with self image
• The beauty queen within
• When Yes means No and Vissa Versa
• Dear Manda, random facts and advice
• What happened? I suddenly grew up.
• Who says "there is no such thing as Prince Charming?"
• Can faith and logic be reconciled?
• Laugh a little
• No longer honeymooners
• Everything I learned, I learned from my mother...

    That is just a few things that I quickly jotted down. I suspect I will have many, many more pop into my mind later on.  Now, over time you will get to know me. Please feel free to ask a question, add a thought, or just point out something I missed. Self exploration is a journey, Im inviting you to come along and be apart of my team. So team, we're off!