Thursday, February 10, 2011

"I want to stay home and..."

   ...bake cookies with you! No, really. I want to stay home and cookies don't sound too bad either. Going back to work after having my son is so much harder than I thought it would be. I miss my long days with him, now that they are gone. I'm so busy all the time, I have no real time for anything or anyone.
    I'm considering going back to school. Doing so would put my school loans on deference and allow my husband and I to buy a home. It will be pretty tough working two jobs and going to school, but in the long run I hope its worth it. Perhaps my husband will get one of those great jobs he has been applying for and I can let my second one go. Hey! Perhaps I can even let them both go and stay home with my little dude until he goes into preschool in a few years. That would be the high life.
   If I do go back to school, I think I've finally decided on what I should get my masters in. I'm thinking of getting another useless degree. This time in Asian Studies with a focus on Japanese culture. Sounds exciting, right? I think so, although I have no clue how I'll use it. Other than missions, what could you use it for? Anyway, Ive found myself missing school terribly. I didn't think I'd miss it until I was living the "adult" life. Not that I will be able to go back to being the "college" student again. I miss being in classes, writing papers, and taking in new things that interest me. Not to mention, I had girl friends then too. If I apply in the summer and get in by fall, Hubby and I can be looking at houses by September! Who knows?
   As for now, I'm stuck working my two jobs.  I'm blessed my son is sleeping pretty well at night. I dont get much done at home, I'm so tired most nights that I cant barely think. I do like my jobs, I'm just worn out. I assume that this gets easier in time. Although, you know what they say...
   I also spoke about cookies! Losing the baby belly is exactly what everyone warned me it would be, hard. My coworkers and I are starting on the South Beach Diet on the 15th, and I need to get my sweet cravings out now. I don't think I even have much food that works for the diet in my house. Hopefully I will find something until Hubby gets paid. Otherwise, we are going to be pretty hungry. We couldn't start the diet until after Valentine's day. Almost everyone had plans. Sadly, I wont be getting any chocolate or special reservations this year. Babies are also expensive. I spent over $35 dollars on diapers and wipes the other day! At least I have two very good looking men as my valentines this year.
   I miss my family. I miss family time. I really miss couple time with Hubby. Living a double life of work and home (especially when you work a lot), can drain the energy out you. Not just physically, but emotionally too. I've only been back two weeks and I already feel like a I need a break. I just want to catch up and "fill" my family bucket. I'm sure I'm not alone, every new mom has to feel this way to some extent. The question is, how do they get past it?

No comments:

Post a Comment