Friday, May 31, 2013

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder [?]

As I promised, we have a guest post today. As I mentioned, Andrew and I spent the two years of our engagement in a long distance relationship. At times I forget how hard, lonesome, and crazy it was. So, here to help me today is my little brother. Roger Bellini is the author of the Si-Fi review blog, A Daily Dose of R&R and the coeditor for Neverland's Library.

Hey everyone,

My sister was kind enough to invite me to do a guest post about long distance relationships as I am currently involved in one. Her choice of titles, “Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder,” was an interesting choice but it’s a bit misleading. I’ll not claim to be an expert on the topic, but what I can do is give you my brutally honest opinion on the experience. If you’re involved in a similar type relationship I hope some of these feelings resonate with you; if not, well I’m wonderfully weird!


First things first! There are some common misconceptions about being involved with long distance relationships. I’ll list a couple and tackle them one by one while sharing how my lovely girlfriend, Rebecca, and I have dealt with them.

Long distance relationships are not real.

Within the first day of having met, we quickly progressed from twitter to Facebook (This is not a way to start a relationship).  After Facebook, we went to skype and Facebook (This is also not a way to start a relationship). After that we spent several months conversing over webcam for hours on end nearly every night just spilling out interests, making faces at each other. We became friends as we learned about one another. It became evidently clear that there was a spark. We struggled with the first time voicing our feelings for each other as LDR’s (long distance relationships) often come with a negative connotation, but we knew at that time that there we didn’t want to be with anyone else. So, I eventually bit the bullet and asked her out. Awkward cheesiness ensued and I am pleased to say that the person I enjoy spending time with most decided to say “Yes.” To have a successful LDR, you need more than physical attraction; you need a partner who is also your closest friend (This is how a relationship is started).

If someone tells me that they cannot agree with that, then they might want to question their relationships before questioning mine! 

You can’t love someone you’re never with

I can bet you that I probably spend more time seeing my girlfriend and talking with her than a large majority of successful traditional relationships. I know, I know…  But that’s not the same!” You’re right, it’s not. I’d love for the chance to spend time in person rather than be separated by what feels like infinite distance. In fact, I’ve planned several such trips already. It’s important to see someone occasionally in person. For some people this time lapse may be longer than others, but physical contact is needed. We’re only human, and kisses are definitely better given in person.

Having a successful LDR is a lot like a military couple. You come to cherish the time you do have with the person you care about, and make a conscious effort to make it work when they’re not nearby. It’s not for everyone, but if you find a person that is worth the effort and you have the determination, then you take your shot.


It’s important to communicate when in a LDR. Be prepared for unwarranted jealousy randomly creeping up on you. Get used to cuddling your pillow instead of a person at night. It’s not easy, it’s not fun. It’s not worth it to be involved with these relationships. They can be awful and miserable.

The absolute only reason you should be involved in this type of relationship is if THEY ARE WORTH IT!

I’ll vent, I’ll rage, I’ll stay up until the early hours in the morning, heck I’ll even pay to fly and visit…  Because, in my case, she is well worth this and more!


Roger Bellini 

I can sympathize with so many points he made. Are you in or have you ever been in a LDR? What did you find to be the hardest challenge? I must admit that it was one of the only things that kept Andrew and I "behaved" before our wedding day! Still, I often wish we had more time together over those two years. Its a bittersweet deal. I hope you have enjoyed this look into love and romance with my husband and I (as well as our guest blogger, Roger).

Looking Forward

Later this evening I will be posting a catch up post as well as introducing next month's theme (properly). I am looking forward to sharing so many things with you.

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